Author: Addie Parker
•10:21 AM
Most days, I think I am ready to become a mama. We have plans. A timeline for when to begin trying. I'm getting more excited about it all the time. And sometimes I want to start trying today. {But then I remember all of my years of patience of getting to this point and how a few more months will fly right by, and we'll be better off for the wait.}

I opened my Bible this morning expecting to be encouraged and uplifted. I've been reading Luke and Hebrews (Hebrews for my small group, and Luke just for me). This morning was Luke, chapter 12. I got to verses 51 through 53 and found myself saying, "Not me, though. Right, Lord? You couldn't possibly mean me."

51 "Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to bring strife and division! 52 From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against- or the other way around. 53 There will be a division between father and son, mother and daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law."

Right now, I am a daughter and a daughter-in-law. I am not a father, a son, a mother, or a mother-in-law. But I found myself thinking about the mother-daughter relationship- as in me, the mother, and a future daughter of mine. We were actually talking about this during lunch at work yesterday. I work with a bunch of women in their fifties, and they were all reminiscing about how they would sneak out at night and get into trouble. The conversation got around to church and how they were forced to go and always tried to get out of it.

While listening to them, my thoughts wandered to how naiive I am. I was not the get-in-trouble type kid. It just didn't occur to me to want to do that kind of thing. Sneak out? What if my child is the type to try to sneak out? I am not prepared for that! Not want to go to church? I haven't even considered that it could be a battle.

Then, this morning to open up to Luke and read about such division. And I just thought, "No, you can't mean me and my daughter, Lord. Not us."

But he could.

Things aren't all butterflies and rainbows in this Bible thing.  A lot of times it is. The message of Jesus Christ and the incredible thing he did for me. It's comforting and encouraging. Forgiveness and love.

Just not Luke 12: 51-53. 

I wish I were (or had one around) a Bible scholar to decipher and give me background on where this all comes from. But it's just me sitting here with my thoughts.

This morning, I'm thinking about the ENORMOUS task of raising a child. Not the feeding and the clothing and the carting back and forth to school. Not that part. But the part where my child learns to be loving and forgiving. To be kind and gentle with others. The part where I hope my child has a heart on fire for God. The part that I hope it's a joyful thing to be a part of a church community.

How do I do that? How, Lord?  I have so much to learn in the coming months and years. It's helpful that we don't birth six-year-olds. There's time to learn along the way. Time to pray and be prayed for. Time to be boosted up by my friends who will be walking this same path right along with me. Time to listen to the rich messages of my pastor. Time to refine and be corrected myself so that I can be a better example.

There is time. And I will not waste it.
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